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Now, that's a topic worth talking about! Lights turned low, soft music, roses and a nice dinner are guaranteed to set the mood for the best sex ever, right? Maybe. But there's something that should come even before that. A relationship that is committed to going the distance - for a lifetime. You've got to be kidding! No one waits for that long before having sex these days. I mean, sex is good - it feels good and it makes me feel loved -and, well, I don't want to be the only one who's not having sex! - and, anyway, my boyfriend (or girlfriend) will leave me if we don't have sex! These are some of the reasons people give for having sex before they commit to spending a lifetime together. Some of them are true! Let's look at each one. Sex is good: Sex IS good! Sex was God's idea, so we know it's good. God planned sex as a special pleasure for a husband and wife (that's why it feels good).Sex is also a way to make their commitment to each other even stronger. Unfortunately, today a lot of people don't want to think about that. They only want to think about the "it feels good" part. Waiting to have sex until marriage doesn't mean that you can NEVER have sex - it just means waiting until you can enjoy every aspect of sex without having to worry about all the reasons you shouldn't be having sex. Sex makes me feel loved: Having sex with someone you care a lot about might make you feel loved. But feeling loved and being loved are not always the same thing. Does this person really like you for yourself - or just for your body? Does he or she always tell the truth - respect you - think about protecting your heart (no one has made a condom that protects a heart from the pain of breaking up after you've given every part of yourself away)? Sex is a physical need - a need that can actually be replaced by taking a walk or working out. Love is an emotional need - that can't be replaced by anything physical. Waiting to have sex until fully committed means that you will know that the person you love is really what you think he or she is and has committed to you for a lifetime - not just for a thrill. I don't want to be the only one who's not having sex! Why not? Would you mind being the only one who doesn't get a STI (sexually transmitted infection)? Or pregnant? Or end up with memories you'd rather forget? Remember, you don't have to wait forever. (Besides, 50 percent of the teenagers in America are still virgins. That means that a lot of people who say they're having sex probably aren't!) My boyfriend or girlfriend will leave me if we don't have sex: And that would hurt -a lot! Breaking up usually feels bad - even if you haven't had sex. But when you have, it feels worse. If your boyfriend or girlfriend will leave you if you won't have sex, he or she isn't thinking about what's best for you (or even for the relationship.) Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to separate yourself from someone like that. Thousands of people will tell you that everything would have been a whole lot easier if they had said "I do" before they said "o.k." |
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